


You have to speak to be heard

by twinSky



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, Post-Canon, Self-Denial, Unreliable Narrator, does it count as canon divergence, if you don't diverge until after canon is over, kind of, yuya's fine guys he SAID so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-04-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:55:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23736475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twinSky/pseuds/twinSky
Summary: The world resets.Four dimensions turned not into one, but connected all the same.-Yuya wakes up and there is nothing, no one else inside him, no other souls nestled neatly inside heart. Like it used to be, like it should have always stayed.(So then why does he feel so empty.)
Relationships: Hiiragi Yuzu & Sakaki Yuya, Sakaki Yuya & Yugo & Yuri & Yuto, Sakaki Yuya & Yuri
Comments: 6
Kudos: 49





	You have to speak to be heard

**Author's Note:**

> **EDIT:** it has to my attention that I have posted this fic exactly 10 years after my first ever published fic. This doesn't really mean anything to any of you. Yall haven't been following me that long, or at all. But. I am happy to be here 10 years later, still finding joy in giving others something to read. So I thank you all anyways, as readers, for being here!
> 
> -
> 
> Mentions of other characters isn't the best term, but if they only appeared once I didn't bother tagging them. Though maybe I should have tagged Reiji, he gets a decent amount of lines for his one scene. 
> 
> Anyways quarantine has given me the ability to go back and finially finish arc v after like. 4 years. and also the manga.  
> The anime, despite what I've seen people say, I really liked the ending, on the point of it being rushed I guess I see it but tbh I just wouldve liked one more episode to give everything that happens in the last episode room to breathe. Arc v is now my second fav season below gx  
> Arc-V manga on the other hand? fucked up. They really gave Yuya a scene accidentaly touching Yuzu's breast knowing full well that was his mom... like lmao? what? That said I will pick out pieces of characterization I like such as Yuto being a good cook, and Yuri being like Yuri but still loving his family.  
> And now that I've obsessively latched onto arc v in these tremulous times, here's a fic I wrote in the past 3 days
> 
> Alternate summary:  
> Yuya, falling apart both physically and mentally: i'm fine  
> everyone: no. you're not  
> Yuya: absolutely, 100% a-okay  
> everyone: *sighs*

The world resets, again.

Four dimensions turned not into one, but connected all the same.

-

Yuya wakes up what feels like just a few weeks (months, years, an entire lifetime) after everything and there is nothing. Yuya wakes up and there no one else inside him, no other souls nestled neatly inside heart. There are patches in his mind, blurry and fuzzy like something that should be there but aren’t. Not quite memories just out of reach and with startlingly clarity he realized he can’t remember the date. That what he has done since going through that string of duels, making Reira laugh, getting Yuzu back, is fogged like a mirror after a shower.

He knows, in the way people know they did things as a child, that these days happened that he went out, hung out with his friends, spoke to Yuto, and Yuri, and Yugo within him.

But

_But_

They aren’t _here_ Yuya is alone (in his room, in his heart, in his life); like it used to be, like it would have stayed had Leo Akaba never interfered.

He didn’t think that feeling would ever feel so _wrong._

His feet move almost without his consent running out of his room and down the steps of his house, hands and mind to shaky to even consider the pole. The world outside his home offers no more clarity, it looks exactly as he always remembers and yet he feels like walls are pressing against him, the space between him and everything else diminished into nothing. There’s panic building in his chest – or maybe it’s been there from the start, it’s hard to tell beyond the haze in his head – and he doesn’t –

He doesn’t –

“Yuya!” A voice calls, clear and precise, cutting through his panic and he blinks bleary eyes up to see the sign of the You Show Duel School. It clears his head a bit more, because, because he doesn’t think he walked far enough to be here already.

“Yuya!” The voice calls again, familiar, _comforting,_ and a tenuous sense of calm comes over him. He blinks again, turning towards it and

_Yuzu_

“Yuzu,” he breathes, eyes catching her outreached hand, as if going to grab his shoulder and he reaches back, taking it between her own and unconsciously pulling her closer. “Yuzu they aren’t _here_.” He says, voice tinny with panic and it’s as he stares at her hand, held between his, that he notices he’s shaking.

He lifts his head, and he catches her expression, a smile soft and understanding and he thinks. If they’re gone then… the girls. Her smile wavers for a second as if hearing the unspoken thought before forming again full force.

“It’s okay Yuya, we’ll figure it out.”

It’s okay, he repeats in his head, over and over again until it feels almost true.

~~(So then why does he feel so empty.)~~

“Ah, so you’re both together, that makes it easier.”

The words are sudden, to the point, and Yuya only knows one person who speaks like that.

He turns, Yuzu’s hand still gripped loosely in his, to see Reiji, ever impassive face so at odds with the small babbling child in his arms.

“If you both could come with me, I’m sure you have questions.”

They both follow, because Yuya will do anything at this point to understand the chasm that seems to have replaced his soul.

-

Reiji unsurprisingly takes them to the LDS tower, and Yuya holds back the questions wanting to spill from his mouth by distracting himself with watching Reira, small and laughing within their brother’s arms.

Reira who took in Zarc’s soul to save him – save them – to free them from their fate. Reira who – he sucks in a breath, clears the thought away.

His skin itches, like it wants to expand and crumple in on itself at the same time.

The elevator doors open and Yuzu gives his hand a squeeze.

-

In the end, there is nothing really wrong. Which is a good thing, Yuya thinks, even if his heart thrums along to a long lost beat, seeking a chorus that it cannot hear.

His father and Leo Akaba stand towards the back of the room, eyes on a monitor most likely discussing something, and it is Reiji who explains the situation, pointing to different screens as he does.

Leo had mentioned it when Yuzu had returned, when Reira had laughed, the dimensions may be trying to become one again, and they had –just not in the way any of them had thought. Each dimension still exists, is still there, they just aren’t separate anymore. Reiji points a graph, with equations and words off to the side that Yuya can’t even begin to understand and then flips the display to show a town that Yuya vaguely remembers from a school trip, except off to the outskirts rubble extends, a few cracked roads turning to torn down buildings and collapsed bridges.

Yuya recognizes the scene intimately, and memories that are both his and not throb in unison.

XYZ.

 _Yuto_.

Yuya doesn’t really understand the rest of Reiji’s explanation, and the look in Reiji’s eyes says they don’t really understand it yet either. But the dimensions have connected, expanding and contracting in turn. Each dimension is now part of a larger whole, and accordingly has fit itself to make up the difference. Places are gone, he says with a note of finality, but the people in them are not, perhaps moved or shifted accordingly to the new world order.

“Our memories will… adjust.” Reiji says, almost hesitantly, “we won’t forget, but as people who have travelled through the dimensions, who remember how it used to be, it will be more difficult. To most of the population, their memories will accordingly adjust to this is how it always has been, separate but together. Connected but not combined.”

Which is all well and good, and explains why Yuya couldn’t help but look around the familiar sites of his home, his city, and feel wrong, but doesn’t explain the one thing he wants to know the most.

“Where are they?” He asks, hates how his voice cracks at the question. Yuya had felt bad enough being the only one who remained, the one who got to _exist_ after everything they had been through, that they had suffered. If they were now truly gone Yuya doesn’t even – “Why can’t I feel them anymore?”

Reiji’s eyes widen, or more so, his eyebrows lift slightly, and off in the distance Reira begins to cry in Leo’s arms. Yuya resolutely ignores that, it’s not his fault, it can’t be, he calmed the remnant of Zarc in Reira, set them both free.

“Right,” Reiji says, the screen once again flickers, showing some kind of wave length, four separate but similar patterns. “Analyzing the energy from when we can presume the connection occurred show four near identical spikes at around the same time, with the strongest being here in standard. We didn’t think much of it, since presumably it could be explained by the event itself. However, we received a call from Edo earlier today…”

“And?”

“The found Yuri and Serena while searching through Academia, further investigation found that both Ruri and Yuto as well as Rin and Yugo had been found in their respective dimensions as well. They’re fine as far as we can tell, lucid and memories whole and intact.”

“They’re okay?” He breathes, shoulders slumping from a tension he had not known he was carrying. Reiji’s gaze falls to him and it softens that miniscule amount as he nods.

“They’re fine, all six of them. As far as we can tell it seems to be caused by the dimensions connecting, and not the cause of it. Hypothetically, you all stayed as one in the aftermath of the attempt to fuse them not only because the world was unstable but because if there was one dimension, then there only needed be one of you.” Reiji as always, says this calmly, like fact. But Yuya can’t help the way his heart twists at it, out of all of them why _him_. “But in this newly settled dimension, where each one can remain distinct yet whole, it allowed your souls to separate once more.” He adjusts his glasses, eyes sweeping over them and then back up to the screen. “That is the assumption, perhaps this would have always happened, perhaps it is something a bit more grandiose than simple science and energy –at this point we have no real way of figuring the exact details, but we presumed it best to inform you as soon as possible.” Reiji says we in a tone that makes Yuya think it was mainly him who bothered, but Yuya doesn’t really care he’s just relieved to know that they’re all safe.

That he didn’t once again cause people he cares about to be hurt once again.

From beside him Yuzu starts to cry, “Thank God,” she says softly, free hand pressed against her heart, “Oh thank God.”

He looks at her, tears welling in his own eyes as Reiji clears his throat.

“It seems I was right to inform you, however that is all I needed to tell you. Unless you have further questions you’re free to go.”

Yuzu shakes her head, still sniffling, so Reiji turns to him. Yuya stares, mouth half open as if wanting to say something before he snaps it shut. He smiles wanly, rubbing the back of his head. “No, thanks a lot Reiji, really.”

Reiji inclines his head, bidding them goodbye before turning towards their fathers. For a moment Yuya thinks he’s going to join them, his father even looks up as Reiji approaches, though he looks past him shooting Yuya and a softly crying Yuzu a grin and wave, but instead he retakes Reira from Leo’s arms, and moves off into a room out of view.

“I guess we should go?” Yuya asks and Yuzu grins, lightly punching his arm.

“Yeah, come on, let’s get something to eat.” She replies, dragging him by their still linked hands.

All the way back Yuya tries very hard not to think about the question that rested on his lips, because even the thought is too selfish to be allowed. The imbalance he feels, the way everything about him is a touch _wrong_. It’ll go away, he’s just adjusting, whatever problems he’s experiencing don’t matter right now. Not when everyone else is free. It’s fine. _Yuya’s_ fine.

He just needs time.

-

At the café they’ve decided to eat at Yuya picks absentmindedly at his sandwich, the food rests uneasily in his stomach and he doesn’t know why.

“Is everything okay?” Yuzu asks, eyeing his uneaten food with suspicion, already having finished hers.

“I’m not that hungry.” He shrugs, and watches her suspicion switch from his food to him. He knows he’s not being convincing, he doesn’t even believe himself. He _should_ be hungry, Yuya had just woken up before all this, this is his first meal of the day but each bite falls in his stomach like a stone and after the first few he hadn’t been able to force any more. “Really.”

“Well,” Yuzu says slowly, reaching her hand out slowly, “can I finish it then? I really should’ve ordered something bigger.” He nods but she still grabs it slowly, as if giving him time to change his mind.

Her stare remains even as she eats it, and Yuya laughs nervously.

He doesn’t know what to tell her to calm her down. It’s not like he has any better idea than she does.

-

A couple days later and a clatter resounds outside his room. Yuya rises slowly, gazing at the clock with a sigh. Four a.m., another night sleep eludes him. He gets out of bed swinging his legs lazily over the edge, walking over to the door and swinging his door open.

“… Sora?” He says, blinking as if it’ll make the image of Sora, entering the room across from his, disappear. Since that final duel Sora has taken to splitting his time randomly between here, XYZ, and Fusion, his mother more than happily housing him when he does, but he usually lets someone know before he visits.

Though, if Yuya’s being honest this sudden onset of insomnia has left him more than a bit spacey.

“Oh! Yuya, didn’t expect to see you up.” Sora says, one hand idly waving a lollipop at him. “You’re usually sleeping like a log by now.” He adds with a laugh. “Did I wake you?”

“Yes.” He lies, because he doesn’t want to explain that he hasn’t been able to sleep lately.

“Sorry about that teach,” he says with a grin, “go back to bed that’s what I’m planning to do!”

“Why are you here so late?” He asks through a yawn, stamping down the small thrill of excitement. A yawn, maybe he really will get to sleep.

“Helping clear some rubble!” Sora says cheerily, but bites down too harshly on his lollipop, its snap loud in the quiet of the night. “Now bed! If I keep you up much longer who knows what Yoko-san and Yuzu will do to me.”

As agile as Sora is Yuya has never considered him particularly strong, but yet still he somehow manages to push him back into his room and into his bed before darting out.

He doesn’t know when he finally falls asleep, but when he wakes up it’s only 9am and the heaviness in his body is even worse. He stays in bed longer than he should, only leaving when his mother calls him down to eat, and dutifully ignores the bout of nausea that brings up.

So he’s having trouble sleeping and eating. He’s still fine. Nothing’s wrong. He’s just maybe probably coming down with something.

He’s _fine._

-

“So,” Sora says through a mouthful of chocolate sauce with pancake, Yuya’s stomach twists just at the sight. “Yuto asked about you.”

A burst of _something_ fills him at the statement, and Yuya responds by looking down at his food, cutting out the smallest piece he can manage without it looking too weird. “Oh? He did?” Yuya hasn’t really thought about what his counterparts have been doing since Reiji told them they were all fine.

~~(Yuya hasn’t _stopped_ thinking about his counterparts, and he pushes that feeling down, down, _down_.)~~

“Yeah, he asked if you were okay, you’ve been ignoring his messages.” He says idly, waving his fork at him.

“I’ve been – _messages?_ ”

“Yeah. Messages,” Sora says through another bite of food, swallowing before continuing. Yuya notes that though his mother had called him down, she’s suspiciously not in the room. “This weird connection thing made talking between dimensions – though I guess it’s just one now – easier, all the duel disks are capable of it. I know the girls have a groupchat, Yuzu made me take a picture with her to send to them.” Sora pauses, as if processing everything he’s just said. “Wait how did you not know? Have you not looked at your duel disk lately?”

He tries to remember the last time he’s dueled since that long duel to make Reira smile, and failing that tries to remember where his duel disk even is. It’s not on his arm, as he had been used to it being, so barring that it’s probably just in his room. His fingers twitch when reminded of the lack, and with a sudden fervor he wishes his deck was in his hands, tucked safe and in sight.

“I guess not.” He says at length.

“Yuya,” Sora says slowly, carefully, and the tone makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, “is something wrong?”

He squashes down the instinctive no that bubbles up his throat, shaking his head instead. “I’m just tired or something, I think I’m going to go back to bed.”

“What about your pancakes? You’ve barely touched them.” Sora asks, confusion seeping into his tone and Yuya stands, unwilling to look into his eyes.

“You can eat them.” He says quickly, excusing himself from the table and hurrying up the steps.

“What – _hey!_ ” Sora calls out, but mercifully doesn’t follow.

Inside his room his eyes fall onto his duel disk almost immediately, and he picks it up, and takes it over to his bed, flopping down onto it.

He taps it, the screen coming to life immediately and slew of messages raining down the screen. He scrolls through them in mute amazement, names of the people he had met throughout his journey interspersed with hellos and small updates. He wonders vaguely how they even got his number before his eyes fall onto a message from Yuzu; _‘since you seem to be too busy doing nothing to answer i’m sending out your info_

_you cant get mad if some weirdos add you!!!! ;p’_

He smiles at it, moving his finger to turn off the screen, he’ll deal with this mess after a (if he’s lucky) nap, but one message in particular catches his eye.

Simple and yet so achingly familiar in just three words.

 _‘This is Yuto._ ’

Yuya opens it without meaning to, and the screen shifts to the conversation, a waterfall of messages flooding it. He scrolls through it, in blank bemusement.

_‘Yuzu gave me your number. Though I don’t know how she got mine. Or any of ours.’_

_‘This is… I can’t remember the last time I felt the wind, or the sun. It’s good, but idk, kind of weird.’_

_‘Yuya?’_

_‘Forgot I had a physical body again and walked into a pole today.’_

_‘Are you getting these?’_

_‘Yuzu says I’ve been texting the right number, so that’s good.’_

_‘If you don’t want to talk that’s fine, but if you could just reply so I know you’re okay.’_

_‘Are you okay?’_

_‘I’ve talked to the other two, even if texting Yuri is like dragging nails over a chalkboard. They’re fine, but they haven’t heard from you either.’_

_‘Yuya please’_

_‘Ruri and Shun keep telling me to go visit, I’m starting to agree with them.’_

His eyes freeze as they catch that message, skipping over the rest. A distant but present part of him bursts in incomparable joy at the thought, a feeling as overwhelming and sudden as how quickly he shuts it down pale and shaky.

Yuya wants to see them all so bad it _hurts_ , has wanted to since the second he knew they were safe but Yuya has no claim to their lives. With the exception of Yuto he barely knows them.

~~(Yuya knows them all better than he knows himself, felt their souls in his, felt their memories overlap with his own. Knew them so well that the fact they were one wasn’t weird. Wasn’t wrong.)~~

If they all have a chance of living their lives again Yuya won’t step between it.

 _‘srry_ ’ he sends, ‘ _think somethings wrong with my dueldisk didn’t get any of these til now i’m okay’_

He stares at the screen hands still hovering over the screen.

_‘i’m glad youre all okay. sorry’_

He tosses it back on his desk, ignoring the buzzing that resounds just a few moments later. He doesn’t quite fall asleep, but by the time he looks out the window again the sun is setting. Which should make him feel _something,_ he thinks, but he just feels tired still.

He closes his eyes and tries to will sleep to take him.

-

The next day Yuzu and Sora burst into his room far too early to be okay in any dimension and drag him down to the kitchen where Yuya stuffs an appropriate amount of food down his throat considering he hadn’t eaten at all the day prior. Despite it being warm and well made each bite falls heavy and chewing through it feels like sand and ash.

“Alright!” Yuzu says, slamming her hands on the table as she stands, “let’s head out team!”

“… What?” Yuya asks blankly, suppressing a flinch when Sora’s hand descends on his shoulder. The touch is light yet reverberates through him as if he were a gong. He twitches, curling his hands beneath the table.

“Since you asked,” Sora says with a wink, “we’re going to an amusement park!”

“What?” He repeats, somehow even more confused.

“So get dressed!” Yuzu pronounces, apparently through with explanations.

“Yuzu I—"

“I said get dressed Yuya.” She says flatly, paper fan held menacingly in her hands as Sora laughs and it is habit more than anything else that drags him from his seat and up the steps.

Well, Yuya could use the distraction, and at the very least it should be fun.

-

It is fun. More fun then he can remember having in awhile if he’s being honest. Sawatari, Tsukikage, and Gogenzaka meet them at the entrance and Sawatari’s annoyance at their lateness actually startles a laugh out of him.

Yuya doesn’t remember the last time he came here, he remembers planning to but… well a lot of things happened.

There’s a strange comfort in the mundaneness of it all. Tsukikage and Sora are currently battling it out at the dartboard attraction while Sawatari keeps insisting his miss was a fluke and “Yuya you remember, I got those three perfect bullseye on your face I’m _great_ at darts.” He nods, laughing, as the memory filters through. That felt so long ago, before any of them really knew what was happening, before he met Yuto… before…

Before they joined, when Yuya was like he is right now. How he spent his whole life before now.

Gogenzaka says something, drawing him from his thoughts with a shiver. He blinks, and grins at Gogenzaka’s frown.

It’s an enjoyable day, it’s a great day.

And yet the cold feeling that seems to have permeated his body continues to spread like vines.

-

Yuya would like to repeat that he’s doing absolutely fine. Sure he spends more time awake then not, and if no one reminds him he might go an entire day without eating, and he’s started to actually wear his school jacket in an attempt to hold back the cold but he’s _fine._

Really.

Sure sometimes he spaces out for no reason, and sometimes a sudden touch will feel like ants crawling underneath his skin but it’s okay.

He’s keeping in touch with people, he hangs out with his friends. Everything’s normal.

There’s _nothing wrong_.

-

Actually, he takes it back. He’s still fine, of course, but maybe if he said otherwise Yuzu would’ve let him stay home today.

Yuya’s been dreading this since the topic came up, an unavoidable gathering that is only odd in the fact that it took this long to set up.

~~(Yuya’s been waiting for this with bated breath, after all if he’s not the one that set it up, then it’s not his fault, right?)~~

“You think you’d be more excited about this.” Yuzu comments idly as they make their way down the street, he supposes its nice that they’ve decided to do this in Standard, but then again it’s the place with the least bad memories attached out of the four.

“I am.” He is. He isn’t. He doesn’t know. He does. Yuya just… he’s so _tired_.

“Could’ve fooled me.” She grunts, eyes trained firmly forward.

“Yuzu?” He asks slowly, coming to a stop, Yuzu continues a few steps further before pausing as well. “Is something wrong?”

“Yuya, you trust us right? You trust _me_?”

“Of course.” He says immediately, easily, Yuzu’s been with him forever, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her, no one he could trust more. “Why would you ever doubt that?”

She sways slightly in her spot, hands clenched into fists at her side as she spins to face him.

“Because I’m not stupid Yuya, none of us are. If something’s wrong then we want to know. I want to help. You don’t have to hold it all in, we’re here for you no matter what.”

“I –” Something heavy curls in his chest, choking back his words. He forces a smile on his face, ignoring the pressure. Smile. Laugh when you want to cry, and eventually it will come back to you. “I’m fine, really, thanks though.”

Yuzu stares at him a moment longer, eyes boring into his with such intensity he feels like he might wilt before she deflates, shoulders slumping. She sighs, mouth twisting down in displeasure before turning around and continuing down the hallway.

“I thought you moved past that already.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Come on, we’re already late and Serena knows where we live so if we take any longer she’ll probably hunt us down.”

The mention of Serena reminds him why they’re here, what they’re doing and not quite panic settles beneath his skin. Yuya has spoken to them through text, Yugo and Yuto mainly, because all of Yuri’s message have an underlying tone that make Yuya feel like Yuri knows something. Something more than what he’s willing to share, and it’s unsettling. They had wanted things before meeting up, all eight of them. He thinks that maybe they’ve visited each other in smaller groups, but he’s not sure, and he hasn’t asked.

In fact, Yuya has probably not very slyly avoided most conversations of that type. A fact that had worked out pretty well for him until Yuzu had announced just yesterday that everyone was coming. Announcing it last minute as if she knew Yuya would somehow escape otherwise.

He sighs, rolling back his shoulders. There’s an energy building in him as they walk, a sharp contrast to the lethargy that seemed to dog his every step as of late. It quickens his pace, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he struggles not just run past her. He’s not entirely sure where they’re meeting up, so it’s not like he could even if he wanted to.

Just as the energy in him feels fit to burst Yuzu stops, tossing him an odd look as she opens the door to a diner. They walk in and Yuya’s head turns without intention, eyes drawn to something he hasn’t even seen yet. He blinks, and for the first time in too long sees them. Three people with faces just like his, three parts of his soul. Except, except no they’re part of _Zarc_ not him.

The sudden warmth blooming in his chest chases away the chill that has dogged him as of late and he lets out an unconscious sigh of relief. There is one perfect moment, where for a second everything feels just right, and then his entire body stills. Yuto’s eyes flicker away from the table and land on his, a smile blooming on his face as Yuya takes a step back.

He feels, he feels so _right_ having them near him and the realization shakes him to his core as he takes another step back. Vaguely he thinks he hears Yuzu call out to him but his gaze remains trained on them, the way Yuto jostles Yugo’s shoulder, pointing over at him.

 _No_. He thinks, as every other part of him seems to sing _yes._

Reira had taken the restless part of Zarc’s soul but at the end of it Zarc as still them, was still Yuya. And. And when they had calmed it what was stopping Reira from letting it go, from having it return back to them. To him.

He takes another step back and his foot catches on the door frame, falling back through the door he hadn’t yet let shut. Pain runs up his arm as it catches his fall but it’s a dull thing compared to the torrent in his head.

Was he… was he himself? He felt like himself, but he’d always felt like himself, and that hadn’t stopped Zarc from taking control of him. Was Zarc still here, clamoring for their reunion once again? He tells himself that isn’t possible, that it defeats everything they had strived for at the end, in helping Reira after.

But that thought just means that it’s _him_ , him that sees the other 3 parts of what was once one whole and feels right, like they should be here with him. Like the fact they _aren’t_ with him is wrong.

He gasps, and his chest heaves demanding the air that he had apparently been depriving it of but Yuya can’t –can’t

_What’s wrong with him?_

“Yuya?” A voice calls, so familiar and fond and Yuya’s heart stutters in his chest. Yuya swings a heavy and hazy gaze up to see Yuto looking down at him, features tight with concern. Beside him Yugo has a hand wrapped hesitantly around Yuto’s arm, looking down at him in an expression that is equal parts worried and confused. Finally just a tad further behind is Yuri gazing down at him with an expression Yuya’s muddled head can’t even begin to decipher. He hates it, hates the expression on their faces, that he’s the one who put it there. He tries to pull a smile but it falters, stuttering as he gasps through dry lips. “Yuya what’s wrong?” Yuto asks reaching a hand towards him and Yuya stares at it with increasing panic.

The world feels like it has slowed to a near stop as he watches it’s descent. Yuya, Yuya wants and then he doesn’t and he’s terrified and he can’t talk and he. He—

He’s scared of what happens if it reaches him. Will he pull him back in, will he be forced to watch Yuto disappear into light once again unable to do anything. Yuto who had been with him for far too long who had been there for every thought, every moment since they had left Standard what felt like far too long ago. Yuto who had never once during his time mentioned what it must be like to be stuck like that inside him. Yuto who was finally free, all of them, would he just take them all back, rip their freedom away just when they had all gotten it back?

Something wet splashes onto his hand and it’s with a distant fascination that he realizes he’s crying. He wishes he had enough presence of mind to grab his goggles and shove them over his eyes, to stand on wobbly feet and run away from them all if it meant that they’d all get to be happy, and fine, and whole.

Of course, none of them are in his head anymore, so none of them can hear his thoughts and Yuto’s hand still comes closer and Yuya’s traitorous mind and body seem to sing in anticipation.

However, beyond the warmth that has spread throughout him is a burning in his chest, his lungs, and black painting dots and eating away at his vision.

It’s almost a blessing when it all fades away.

If he’s not conscious for it, maybe he can deny everything that’s about to happen.

-

He slips into the most restful sleep he’s had in weeks.

-

Yuya thinks he wakes up once to a hand in his hand, the other carding gently through his hair. He breathes out a sigh, sinking deeper into his bed. There’s a rustle, what sounds like a laugh, and the mutter of what he’s sure is ‘idiot’.

He’s back asleep before he can think about it.

The next time he wakes up, his room is empty.

-

Yuya wakes up and his stomach is growling, a sensation so foreign that for a second he doesn’t even realize it’s coming from him. He sits in his bed, head muddled, hand pressed against his protesting stomach.

The door to his room creaks open and he looks up, a wide-eyed Yuzu standing there.

“Yuya…” She says softly, before tensing, hand raising with fan in hand as she stalks over to him. He blinks, back straightening and then curling as he flinches in defense. There’s a beat where nothing happens and he opens one eye slowly, both eyes snapping open as he meets Yuzu’s gaze. Her hand has fallen limply to one side, hand loosely holding onto the fan, tears building in the corner of her eyes. “Yuya,” she says again, pulling him close as she begins to cry in earnest. “If somethings wrong just say so, don’t do that to me, to any of us.”

“What happened?” Because Yuya’s last memory is seeing the other three, Yuto’s hand reaching out at him. And Yuzu seems upset but not angry, so Yuya didn’t do anything wrong right? All three of them are okay right?

Yuzu pulls back, hands still resting on his shoulders. “You passed out as soon as we got to the diner, you were burning up Yuya, your fever was so high.” She sighs, leaning forward to press her forehead against his. “I knew you hadn’t been feeling well for awhile but if you were feeling that bad just say something. We could’ve rescheduled or something.”

“And the others?” He asks hesitantly.

Yuzu huffs out a laugh, “You’re the one that passed out, maybe be more concerned about that? But they’re fine, Yuto helped carry you home and they stuck around for a while but they all had to head back eventually. They’ll probably want to head back over when I tell them you’re up though.”

He frowns. “Have I been out that long?” The suns still up, it can’t have been more than few hours.

Yuzu pauses, once again leaning back as she bites her lip. “It’s been three days Yuya.”

“… I’m hungry.” He says eventually, unsure what to reply to that. He feels rested for once, so maybe it’s okay.

She smiles wanly, “I’d hope so. Come on, your mom was just starting to make lunch.”

Everyone’s fine, Yuya feels fine, so everything’s alright he decides as they make their way downstairs.

And if he keeps saying that, maybe he can pretend everything that led to this moment isn’t real.

-

Yuya spends one blissful week feeling absolutely 100% normal. His sleep schedules adjusts back into it’s regular habits, he scarfs down his mother’s pancakes like they’re nothing but air and even annoys Sawatari to the point of the other demanding a duel from him. One he accepts with an easy cheer and wins with graceful laughter.

Yuya feels _good_ he feels _whole_. He feels that maybe he was right, he just needed to settle, needed to adjust.

Then he spends an entire night unable to sleep, and the cycle begins anew.

-

“Are you getting sick again?” Sora asks eyeing his uneaten food with suspicion.

“Maybe.” He sighs, arguing against it would probably just get him disappointed stares.

“You should eat.” Sawatari says, eyes trained firmly on his device, having finished his food a while ago, all of them aside from him.

He thinks if he tried saying he wasn’t hungry they’d hold him down and force the food the food down his throat. So he nods, and tries to remember what good food tastes like and not the feeling of sludge filling his mouth instead.

He rubs his arms, goosebumps raising all over and tells himself that those are from Sora’s unnerving stare and not the chill that sweeps through him in unrelenting waves.

-

“Yuya.”

“Hm?”

“Yuya?”

“Mhmm”

“ _Yuya!”_

A hand lands on his shoulder and he jerks back eyes wide. The word ‘don’t’ sticks in his throat and he swallows it back down because he can’t think of any good reason for it to be said. For him to think it at all.

Yuzu is staring at him, hand held up and away as if it’s burned her, Gogenzaka beside her staring at him with a level frown.

“When was the last time you slept?”

He shrugs, probably last night, but it hadn’t been enough, it rarely was nowadays.

“Have you eaten today?”

A harder question, he remembers his mother making dinner, he doesn’t remember when that was. Lack of sleep has made each day blur together but he’s… probably eaten today. His stomach isn’t protesting so that’s a plus right? He shrugs again.

One of them makes a long, thin, sound that grates on Yuya’s ears. He lifts his hand rubbing them absentmindedly.

“Yuya _what’s wrong_?”

Nothing. Everything. He doesn’t know.

“It hurts.” He mumbles unintentionally and freezes but can’t think of any way to back pedal, to take the words back so aren’t out in the open.

“What hurts?”

His body, his heart, his soul.

Yuya goes through every day feeling like there’s nothing inside him and it’s dragging him through the ground. He wakes up from his few troubled moments of sleep feeling like he can’t breathe, wakes up with a yearning in his chest he can’t place. Everything about Yuya hurts and whenever he thinks of the one moment it didn’t it hurts even more because more than anything that moment, that realization, hurt the most. If Yuya’s pain will leave them all at peace he will gladly bare it, it’s the least he can do.

He shrugs his shoulders yet again and tries to ignore the distress he can feel coming off them.

He’s fine, really, he’s getting used to it.

-

A hand is pushing him inside his home and Yuya lets it despite the fact the touch is sending uncomfortable sparks beneath his skin that make him want to cringe away. Today is… a school day he thinks, and it was morning he’s pretty sure so he should be walking to school, or at school. One of those two, not being forced back into his home.

His head feels full of cotton though, so he doesn’t bother to protest.

“Get in bed Yuya.” A voice commands, and Yuya complies because that sounds nicer than trying to move useless limbs.

“Shouldn’t we take him to a hospital?” Another voice says, in a tone that makes Yuya feel like this isn’t the first time it’s been asked.

“No. A hospital wouldn’t help.” The first voice replies.

“Really? I fail to see how you would know that.”

A pause, and then, “I just… it’s a feeling.”

A sigh. “If you’re sure then fine, but…”

“I know, this is bad, but I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m not even sure if he knows, I just want to _help_.”

“Yuzu…”

“I’m messaging the girls, maybe they know something. It’s connected, I know it is I just… I don’t know how. I don’t know _why._ ” Another pause, sniffling, the shifting of fabric. “Haven’t we all been through enough? Hasn’t _Yuya_? Things we’re supposed to be okay now.”

He wants to sit up, wants to them that it’s okay, that he’s just having a bad day, he’ll be fine later, tomorrow. He wants to do all of those things, doesn’t want them to be worried for his sake, but his body refuses to comply, heavy like lead on top of the bed.

His eyes slide closed, and he falls into fitful sleep.

-

There’s something warm beside him, a warmth that radiates like fire that soothes the ache inside him.

He curls around it, a sigh leaving his lips as he slips into deeper, restful, slumber.

-

He never quite wakes, but sometimes he feels consciousness just before him, like the line between the end of the water and fresh air. Hazy, within reach, and oh so alluring. And every time the warmth is still there, blanketing him as it lulls him back to sleep.

Yuya smiles, arms extending and wrapping something as consciousness leaves him once again.

-

Yuya wakes slowly, tugging something closer to his chest with a small yawn. He buries his head into something soft but firm, tickling at his nose. He sighs in contentment and for a moment feels just about ready to feel asleep again before awareness attacks him all at once, like cold water pouring over his body.

Yuya doesn’t have any stuffed animals, doesn’t have any extra pillows he could be clutching.

Definitely nothing that would be as large.

Absolutely nothing that would be causing the breath Yuya can feel against his chest, warm and present even beneath his shirt.

His eyes snap open coming into contact with a shade of violet and pink he’d recognize anywhere.

“ _Yuri?_ ” He not quite shrieks, pulling up and away from him in one quick motion, scrambling backwards until his back hits the wall. There’s a loss of something as he moves away the warmth in his breast dulling slightly but still present.

A soft, high pitched sound slips past his lips, hands going up to grasp his head. No, no, _no._ Why is he here? How did he get here? Yuya –Yuya’s not _safe_ to be around, not when every part of him wants to reach out and grab the other, keep him as close as they had been when they were sleeping.

Who knows what could have happened. Could he have woken up alone, already having absorbed the other into him without him ever knowing?

His chest burns just as his mouth opens, taking in large stuttering gulps of air. He curls up tighter, maybe Yuri will just disappear if he does it long enough.

Instead hands descend upon him, uncurling his arms from around him and raising his chin with two fingers forcing to meet eye to eye. It’s hard to tell behind watery eyes but Yuya recognizes the expression, the same one he had seen that day so long ago, when they had all first met again.

“Do you even know what’s happening to you?” Yuri asks, voice a confusing mix of sarcastic and genuine curiosity.

“I, I’m” _dangerous_ he means to say, a threat to all three of him the way he is but Yuri frowns, pressing a finger to his lips. Yuya wishes he had the energy to push him away but it takes enough effort just to not pull him closer.

“Ah, don’t say anything stupid.” Yuri tuts, “but considering you were about to, I’ll take it you don’t.” He sighs, tilting his head as he stares down at him. “Maybe I should have expected this, but bleeding hearts are beyond my comprehension.”

“I, I don’t.” He tries to mumble around the finger to no avail.

“Shh, not right now.” He says, but does remove his finger. “I really thought this wouldn’t be an issue, considering how close you and our dearest XYZ counterpart were, I thought you’d be all over him and you’d never even notice.”

The word process slowly but when they do his face ignites, words sputtering out, “Yuto and I, we, _what_?”

Yuri ignores his mumbling, continuing on as if Yuya had never interrupted in the first place. “Tell me Yuya, how do you feel?”

“I feel fine.” He replies automatically.

Yuri’s hands which had never quite left his face, tighten around his chin with a frown. “Don’t lie to me.”

“I’m not lying.” He says stubbornly and it’s not even a lie, right now Yuya does feel fine, he’d feel great if Yuri would just leave the room, preferably Standard as a whole.

He hums, “I suppose you aren’t so let me rephrase; how have you felt Yuya? And do be honest, Serena showed me your dear Yuzu’s frantic messages.”

Yuya swallows, wanting to rip himself away from the other, to ignore him, ignore the guilt that overwhelms him at the statement.

“Nothing’s wrong.” He says faintly, the statement weak and false even to his own ears.

“All of us are stubborn.” Yuri says, seemingly to himself as he turns a wide predatory smile on him. “If you won’t say, can I take a guess?” Yuri asks, clearly not caring for his response. “Does your body perhaps feel wrong? Like something’s missing? Nothing feels quite right, food sits oddly on your tongue, your bed never quite comfortable to sleep in –if you can sleep at all.” Yuri pulls back to look at him, hand moving from his chin but the one around his wrists stays firm, even as Yuya shakes, breaths quickening into gasps. “Nothing makes it go away, nothing maybe…” He says slowly eyes glinting as he moves even closer, mouth hovering at him just at his ear, breath like a warm fog against it. “… maybe except for one little thing.”

Something snaps, tension releasing all at once Yuya pushes Yuri back with too much force, the other tumbling off the bed and onto the ground. Yuya’s body shakes, breath heavy and quick as he moves to peer over only to find Yuri staring at him in undisguised glee.

“Shut up, shut up, _shut up_.” He shouts, hands curling tight around his covers. “Why, why do you know all that?” Why are you still here if you know? “I haven’t told – I’m not – I don’t, _I_ _don’t want this_!”

Yuri’s grin does not leave his face as he sits up, pushing up on his legs and lifting his hands up to drag Yuya closer, leaving their faces inches apart. “I know this, because I felt it too.”

What?

“What?”

“Tell me Yuya, what are we?”

“People, ourselves.” He replies, knowing that’s not the answer the other wants.

Yuri huffs, “What _were_ we, then?”

“We—”

“Don’t play dumb, you know full well what I mean.”

“One,” He spits, once again shoving Yuri away, hating how easily the word rolls off his tongue, “We were one, we are one, but now we _aren’t_.”

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong. We might be separate, perhaps for good now, but we’re still one. An undeniable fact. I am you, like you are Yuto, like Yuto is Yugo, like Yugo is me. Like once upon a time, all of us were Zarc.”

“Why does that matter?” He asks, because denial has always been one of his best friends.

“Because we both know better than the other two what that means, you better than me.”

“Don’t say it like that.” He mumbles weakly, sliding off the bed and landing with a thud beside Yuri on the ground.

“But it’s true,” He says, turning to face him, smile gone from his face, “we each took one of them into our souls, felt, even if unknowingly, the parts of us that were missing. Remembered what it was like to be even half of a once whole. And you, _you_ experienced the whole thing, what it was like to be complete and then had it ripped away.”

“I’m a full person just by myself, I don’t need you guys.” He says firmly, because if Yuri’s about to tell him that that isn’t true Yuya doesn’t want to hear it, doesn’t want to think it. Because Yuya would never, _could never_ , put himself above them.

“Of course, but your soul still feels the lack.”

“Huh?”

“Did you really think ripping us apart would have no consequences?” Yuri asks, gaze too intent and Yuya can’t bring himself to look away.

“I was hoping.” He grumbles, it was the least the universe could owe him.

“A stupid way of thinking.”

“What would you know!”

“I told you. I felt the same way, I fixed it. You let yourself fall apart until you were almost gone.” Yuri’s hand shoots out, grabbing him by the wrist, thumb resting heavily above his pulse. “I stand by what I said back then Yuya. You all are _mine_ , I won’t have any of you hurt, especially not by your own hands.”

He lets out a breath and despite Yuri’s possessive wording it’s still nice to hear him say he cares about them all. A grimace twists his face as a smile overcomes Yuya, no doubt understanding Yuya’s thought process.

“How did you… how’d you fix it?” He asks and for the first time Yuri seems almost flustered.

“My situation was not as bad as yours, I held Yugo for far less time than you held Yuto, then you held all of us in the aftermath. I simply sought the initial source of the issue and… dealt with it.”

Laughter bubbles up as he watches Yuri’s face flush, head turned slightly away. “Yuri did you _cuddle_ with Yugo?”

Yuri’s head swivels to face him, mouth slack with shock. “I did no such thing. As if I would ever stoop so low as to do that which an idiot. I simply visited, and that, that naïve dunce was all to easy to rile up into trying to wrestle me into the floor on the grounds of ‘shutting me up for good’. A tactic so easy to employ I could do it three times a week without him even suspecting a thing.”

“So… you fake bullied Yugo so he’d tackle you instead of being a regular human being and asking for a hug?”

Yuri’s face looks as red as Yuya’s hair but his mouth is set to a thin angry line. “I _dealt_ with it, I’m fine now. What can you say for yourself?” Yuri snaps, and the mirth drains from him all at once.

“I… I thought…”

“What, that we’d merge again?” He says and Yuya stills. “For an entertainer you have a terrible poker face. Of course you’d jump to the worst solution and being the martyr you are choose to do nothing about it.”

“Hey!”

“I figured the same thing happened to you, but like I said, I didn’t think anything would keep you apart from dear Yuto after everything.”

“Yuto… Yuto deserved –”

“Yes, yes, so I’ve gathered. You chose to suffer alone, I figured as much that day.”

“That day? That…” The day they met up, that voice. “ _You called me an idiot!_ ”

“Oh?” Yuri says, sounding genuinely surprised. “You remember that? I wasn’t sure you would. I did stay with you, I thought perhaps you’d realize your problem when you woke and seek us out on your own.” His gaze flickers to Yuya and then away. “Clearly I was wrong.”

“I was –”

“If you’re going to tell me you were fine, don’t bother. You do realize you could have died right?” Yuri states flatly.

“I, what?” The world suddenly alight with a dull buzz pounding in his ears.

“You aren’t sleeping, you’re barely eating, a regular person would be bedridden in the hospital by now. Thank the part of you that is the Supreme Dragon King Zarc for the fact you’re functional at all.”

“I wasn’t…” he tries, words failing him.

“It doesn’t really matter what you _were_ doing. What matters were the results, and the results we’re you dizzy and delirious enough that Yuzu was sent into a near panic frantically messaging the rest of them worried you were about to die.”

“ _Please_ ” He whispers, and Yuri sighs running a hand through his hair. Yuya shivers, unwilling to fight the way his body leans into it, tears building in his eyes.

“I told you I don’t deal well with bleeding hearts, go back to bed Yuya, the other two can deal with this. I’ve done my part.”

“You told them?”

“Hmm, vaguely, I just needed them to come here once you were ready.” Yuri says, and then continues as if reading the questions in Yuya’s head. “Your soul needs to settle, to adjust. You’ve let this go on for too long, it will be easier with all of us. I came first once Serena told me, and made her tell the others not to come if they were so inclined. I knew what was going on, it would be easier on my own.”

“Why do you know what was happening. I didn’t have a clue.”

“It’s easy, instinctive even, if you’d just let yourself think about it.” Yuri says pointedly and Yuya looks away. None of them aside from Yuri ever tried to think much about this, about them. It was easier to accept it as fact and then move on and ignore it.

Yuri stands at last, dusting himself off. “Go to bed. They should be here by the time you wake up again.”

“And you…”

Yuri looks down at him, face twisting in discomfort before he sighs, an almost imperceptible smile on his face. “I will be here, I told you, I’m not letting anything hurt you, especially not yourself.”

Yuri leaves and Yuya remains on the floor, hands pressed over his chest. The warmth in his breast remains even as Yuri leaves, spreading through him, chasing away the lingering cold that had come back in his panic.

Yuya feels… good.

For the first time in awhile Yuya feels _right_ and has the confidence to think that it’s going to stay that way.

-

The next time Yuya wakes up he’s alone, but there’s a familiar energy and warmth thrumming beneath his skin that tells him they’re nearby.

He swings down, entering the kitchen to see Yugo happily talking to his mom about something. Yuri sitting quietly off to the side, watching Yuto finish up some kind of meal.

Yuya stares and despite his conversation with Yuri can’t find it in him to open his mouth, to announce his presence. To finally _talk_ to them.

The decision is taken away from him as a loud clatter resounds and Yuya’s eyes swing over to land on Yuto, a stack of three plates are still rattling on the counter, presumably the source of the sound. Yuto stares at him, eyes wide, for a long moment before he stalks over angrily. Yuya stands stock still, transfixed as he approaches watching Yuto’s arm raise and lash out in an almost daze, only reacting once the light sharp pain sparks across his head.

“Yuto –” He tries, cut off when the other pulls him close, wrapping arms around him.

“Yuya don’t _ever_ be that stupid again, if joining again with you would keep you from dying I’d do it in a heartbeat. Your life isn’t worth any less than ours.”

“I could never…” he mumbles, throat suddenly tight, eyes watery.

“No.” Yuto says sharply. “None of it was ever your fault, you don’t need to make up for it, you don’t need to feel guilty and you _especially_ don’t need to die just so we can live.”

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles through tears slowly but surely falling down.

“ _I’m_ sorry.” Yuto says, shaking his head. “I should’ve come the moment I felt something was wrong, but I thought you wanted space. Ruri called me stupid, Shun just looked at me like he somewhat disappointed, it was kind of terrible. We’re all stubborn, it doesn’t always mean good things.”

Yuya’s arms, which has been resting limp at his sides reach up to clutch back at Yuto, just as firm and unyielding as he begins to cry in earnest.

“Bleeding hearts,” Yuri sighs.

“Oh shut up,” Yugo calls, and Yuya hears that followed by the distinct sound of his mom’s laughter, “you explained everything, don’t think I’m stupid enough to not know why you kept visiting for that first while.”

Yuya sputters out a laugh through his tears, he can feel Yuri’s indignation from here.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Yuri says primly as Yugo huffs.

“Really? Maybe a hug will jog your memory.” Yugo says and Yuri hisses, like actually hisses, like he’s a cat or a snake or something.

“ _Don’t you dare_.”

“Come ‘ere, don’t be shy.” Yugo says as Yuya stifles another laugh into Yuto’s shirt.

“We have to stop them. They’ll kill each other.”

“Your mother wouldn’t let that happen.” Yuto replies easily.

“Still,” Yuya says, easing himself out of Yuto’s embrace with some effort, “I should.” The warmth in his breast overwhelming, buzzing beneath his skin with an energy that makes Yuya feel like he could run around an action field for hours without tiring. Yuya feels so very _alive_ in this moment that it makes the empty feeling of his last memories hurt all the more.

“Yugo,” he calls, who pauses from where he is loomed over Yuri, who has somehow found a knife and is pointing it threateningly at him. Yuya doesn’t want to know what would’ve happened if he hadn’t intervened but his mother is still watching with amused eyes from the table, so probably nothing?

“Yuya!” He shouts, when he notices him no longer being embraced by Yuto, darting over. Yuri watches him with suspicion but slowly puts the knife back down. “You’re an idiot!” He continues, somehow still smiling.

“I don’t like hearing that from you.” He replies flatly, ignoring Yuto’s laugh.

“That’s how you know its true!” He continues with practiced ease. “Rin told me to tell you that if you ever hurt Yuzu again she will find you. And she will hurt you.” Yugo says simply, like that isn’t the most terrifying things Yuya’s heard in a good while, clapping his hands on Yuya’s shoulders. “And _I’m_ going to tell you that if you ever try anything like that again she won’t need to! Because I will.”

“Yugo!”

“No, really,” Yugo says, taking on that serious tone that always suits him oddly well, “me and Rin have never had a lot you, you can’t –you aren’t allowed to just disappear, not while I can help it.”

“Yugo…” He says softly, and Yugo shakes his head, eyes shining with tears.

“Don’t make it weird.” He sniffs, like he wasn’t the one who had just said something sad and heartfelt.

“Alright, I won’t, I’m sorry.”

“And don’t apologize!”

“Okay, okay.” He placates, and gives Yugo a hug ignoring his squawk of protest.

A chair screeches back and he looks over to see his mom standing up, hands clapped against her cheek. “Yuto! The food you made is going to get cold.” She informs lightly, smiling when the statement makes Yuto jump. “Come on everyone, let’s sit down it’s time to eat.”

Yugo, easily cajoled with the thought of food saunters over to the table and settles himself beside Yuri. Yuri sends him a glare and Yugo sticks his tongue out at him. Yuto shifts beside him, heading back over to the counter he had been at when Yuya entered and Yuya continues to stand at the entryway, momentarily bereft.

“Honey,” His mom calls, and he turns to see her beside him. “Come on, go sit down.” She says, tugging at his hand and he follows, letting her seat him down before sitting back in her seat.

Yuya closes his eyes, letting the conversation between the three of them and his mother wash over him. A scene so familiar and yet different from the constant stream of thought he had once had in his head. It’s different, but a good kind of different. The energy inside him unfurling and settling with a light sigh. He feels… content, happy, _whole_.

Yuya is one person, part of a four who were once one greater whole. Yuya is and isn’t four people, one person. Yuya is not one combined whole but four parts connected yet separate.

And the steady beat of his heart, that he knows beats in tune with three others, says that that is perfect just the way it is.

=

Bonus:

Yuto announces with zero fanfare that they will all be staying the week. Yoko reacts in predictable but unsurprised glee, so they’d clearly already spoken to her about it, and it’s that combined with the stare Yuri is pinning him with that keep him from speaking up any kind of protest. It’s not like Yuya doesn’t _want_ them to stay, he’d ecstatic to have them all here again. But… they have places they should be, people who are waiting for them, even Yuri what right does Yuya have to keep them here and –

Something hits his forehead. He blinks, looking up to see Yuri with an even more intense stare than before.

They can’t read each other’s thoughts anymore, right? They lost that when they split apart, right? Right? Of course, then Yuri’s grin widens like he can _totally read his mind_ and Yuya turns away, unwilling to continue that train of thought.

“Yuya,” Yugo says, a welcome distraction, “Jack gave me this videogame, it’s a _racing_ game we have to play it.”

“Oh,” he says faintly, “yeah sure.”

Yugo’s grin is blinding, it’s easy to match it with his own.

-

Yuya loves his counterparts, he doesn’t think it is physically possible to _not_ love them after everything.

But they are kind of annoying.

They’re all the same age, and if Ray split Zarc apart into four neat pieces, then clearly they all came into existence at the same time. It has not seemed to stop them from developing some weird protective doting-ness that Yuya is sure is attached to younger siblings. They aren’t even related, can you be related to your not you self? Are you even related to yourself? You’re just you. Ugh. Whatever, he’s seen the T.V. shows, Yuya knows his tropes if it’s not that it sure is something similar. Why they’ve chosen this label for him he does not know, but it might drive him mad.

Case in point it has taken him three days to escape his own house with the way they’ve been watching him. And, granted, it’s also somewhat on him and that’s what’s mainly keeping him from yelling at them or something. But he just wants to leave his house okay? He’s texted Yuzu already, did it right after that first meal and he’d felt more lucid than he had in weeks.

But he wants to see her, his last memory of her is a hazy figure he could hardly recognize speaking in quick panicked tones that he had caused.

So he snuck out, texting Yuzu to meet him by the stream, he doesn’t really want to think about what happens when they find him missing. They’re kind of scary when they agree on something.

“Yuya!” He hears Yuzu’s voice call, and he turns, watching her run towards him fan in hand. He stands still, letting her whack him with it, he knows it’s well deserved. “Never worry me like that again or I’ll _give_ you a reason to worry for your life.” She seethes, shoulders shaking.

“You’re like, the fifth person to tell me something like that.”

“Good! All the more people to stop you from being an idiot ever again.” She huffs, crossing her arms.

He frowns, rubbing the back of his head. “Yuzu I’m sorry.” He says, not looking at her, so this time doesn’t see the fan coming, flinching at it’s impact. “Hey!”

“Don’t apologize, don’t be stupid.” She says, putting away her fan and hugging him tight. “Yuya I don’t need or want your apologies, I’ve always known the kind of person you are, I just want you to trust me to help.”

“Yuzu…”

“After everything… after everything we deserve to be happy, to be safe, and if you’re hurting than I want to help. I need you to know that we’re all going to be here for you no matter what.”

“I just, I—”

“It’s alright, I get it. Just, just promise me you won’t do it again.”

“Can I promise to try?” He asks and Yuzu laughs, hugging him tighter, a gesture he replies in kind.

“Yeah, that’s fine. But I’ve warned you already, so watch out!”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” He says and then laughs, both of them standing there in the dark of the night hugging and laughing and Yuya feels wistful for a something he’s not even sure exists for just a moment.

“Do you wanna sleepover? We can invite the other girls tomorrow, try that meet up thing again.”

She pulls away, wiping tears from her eyes. “I’d like that.”

And just like that, somehow everything feels just perfect again.

**Author's Note:**

> If I had written every little scene I wanted to this would be so long, but I feel like it tells a coherent enough story as is, that said last two scenes are a bonus/epilogue because I needed to give Yuya and Yuzu some closure after the events of this fic, but I was also really satisfied with the bookend finish of the 'official' ending so. bonus scene. lmao. There's probably some inconsistinces in this fic, and at least one character is probably OOC but I'm happy with it so here it is. If you're wondering why nobody did anything until the end it's because from an outsider's perspective Yuya looked. Alright. Tired and spacey but they just thought he needed time and then he'd talk to them. Yuya did NOT because he's a repressive little boy. Don't repress your feelings kids.
> 
> Also Yuri explains it, but the reason Yugo and Yuto are fine is because I think there's a difference between absorbing and being absorbed. They just ceased to exist. One second they had a body, then they didn't and then they did again. Their adjustment is relearning to have physical body. Yuri and Yuya however get pieces of themselves back, and I imagine ripping that away again doesn't feel all that good.
> 
> Gonna try to write at least one of the other ideas I have for this series but who knows!  
> Thank you for reading, hope you enjoyed!
> 
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